Engaging in love and cooperation — instead of fear and protection — is a choice.
Many parts of our systems are breaking down for various reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is that we’ve decided to embrace fear and protection, rather than love and cooperation.
Leaning into fear creates a constant state of survival. It leads us toward isolation, conflict, and stagnation. But learning to lead with love empowers growth, connection, and authenticity.
The Impact of Fear and Protection on Our Lives
What is Fear?
Fear, as an innate emotion, has protected us as humans throughout history. It works by activating the amygdala and triggering the release of hormones, like adrenaline or cortisol, which prepare us to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn when we are in danger.
While fear is a sophisticated mechanism that keeps us alive and safe from immediate harm, for many of us, it becomes chronically triggered in everyday life. When the amygdala senses fear, the cerebral cortex — the area of your brain that provides reasoning and judgment — can shut down. When we live in a perpetual state of fear and protection, unable to access our frontal cortex, we become reactive and unable to think or see situations with clarity and rationale.
Along with the inability to rationalize, fear makes us see anyone outside of us as a potential enemy. As a result, our brains tend to become hyper-focused on finding flaws and differences—so we can prepare to defend and protect ourselves.
In order to fight, we need anger.
In order to flee or hide, we need shame.
In order to fawn, we need guilt.
In each of these scenarios, we’re protecting ourselves from true connection and love — which, funny enough, is the exact emotion that moves us out of a survival state. This is precisely why fear and protection perpetuates itself, again and again, throughout generations.
How Fear Affects Us, Individually and as a Society
We live in a world of uncertainty and stress. Many of us have experienced trauma, which imprints fear and a need to protect our bodies and brains. This is exactly why healing from trauma is so important. It moves us out of this hyperarousal state of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
While fear can be protective and defend against danger, chronic fear can be destructive and actually threaten our survival. Fear, anxiety, and states of increased vigilance can be acute, or chronic.
When living in a chronic state of fear or anxiety, we see long-term health impacts:
Weakened immune system
Gastrointestinal problems
Accelerated aging
Long-term memory loss
Difficulty regulating emotions
Reacting without reflecting
Chronic fatigue, depression, or PTSD
The Power of Love and Connection
What Happens When We Embrace Love?
Imagine what the feeling of love and connection feels like in your body. When you feel loved and cared for, it creates a positive sensation of empowerment and lightness.
You might feel that the world is okay, and that positive results will happen. You may feel a deeper sense of peace or gratitude — both for the banality of every day and your relationships.
In the brain, love and connection create a powerful cocktail of hormones. Dopamine and oxytocin, the feel-good hormones, fire up. When we care for others, we tap into a sense of purpose and inspiration. We’re able to exist in a creative space that brings deeply positive change — both for ourselves, our communities, and our world.
Shifting from Fear to Love: Practical Steps
Is it possible to override the fear and protective stance that our bodies posture, and make way for true love and connection as a dominant mode of being?
Yes, we can — but it requires effort and a willingness to change.
You are not stuck in a place of fear. You are not stuck in a place of reactivity. You are not stuck in a place of heightened response.
Questions to Ask Yourself for Self-Reflection
On a scale from 1–10, what is your level of fear and protectiveness?
Are you currently experiencing danger that threatens your well-being?
What do you think you need to protect yourself from?
How do you protect yourself from the things you just listed?
Do you desire to feel more love and connection in your daily life, both with yourself and with others in your community?
Choosing to lead with love over fear isn’t a one-time decision. It’s a daily practice that invites us to be intentional — with our thoughts, actions, and relationships.